10.25.05

I laugh everytime I read this…

Posted in Old Email Favorites at 10:22 am by Jules

You know how there are those things that you can talk people into and afterwards both of you are like “what the fu?” Well… about two years ago I thought that having a make-over at the Lancome counter by a renowned artiste was something that Moon & Stars and I just had to do…. She had hers in the morning. We had lunch that day and she looked totally hot. I looked at her never ending receipt and called Karla May guffawing… here are the emails we sent that day…

Karla May- 650 FREAKIN’ DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell, M & S? When you were getting your facial were they also making you smoke crack? You KNOW that the sales person you were working with was like, “SUCKER!” when you left her counter.

You’d better look DAMN good, bitch.

Me- She looks really really good….

Total # of products on her eyes…. 14!
Total # of products on her lips….. 6!

Sucker? They were jumping up and doing high fives! ($650 % 5= 130 of them!)

M & S- I think I need a 12 step program.

Hi. I’m M & S. I am addicted to makeup.
Number of products used on eyes pre makeover - - 1.
Number of products used on lips - -1.
What was I thinking?
And they didn’t have the prices on the makeup.I bought something that was $61.No clue what it was, but I NEEDED it.
And I am taking stuff back.
AND I didn’t buy lots of the stuff that they used.

Who uses 14 products on their eyes?

It was fun.The makeup artist suggested that I get chestnut highlights in my hair, and he said that I needed to clean up my eyebrows.
It is hard work being this beautiful.

Karla May- Don’t let me, buyer of drug store make up, guilt you into taking back the good stuff. Hell, if I were a super model like you, I’d TOTALLY go to the MAC counter at Dillard’s 2 NITE and buy me a bunch of kick ass stuff. You bet your sweet ass I would…

Of course by the time Phillipe or Juan Pedro or whatever pretenious gay name that guy had got to me that night he was much more persnickity. Here’s what I said the next day… (pretend I’m at the AA, well Makeup Abusers Anonymous, meeting podium as you read this wearing my “Hello, my name is ” sticker…)

Me- I never really thought I had a problem with makeup… until last Wednesday nite.

I’ve been buying makeup for 20 years, some good, some garish, and some in down right bad taste.

I too had a Lancôme makeover with Ricardo. And he was no where near as nice to me at the end of the day as he was with little Ms. Buy out-the-store in the morning. He was getting down right snippy… he told the large woman in front of me wearing bright orange to never wear that color again. Meow!!

Number of products on my eyes, 13. He left off the white eyeliner for me. FYI–the first comment he made to me about my eyes, was “let’s do something about those dark circles, you must be very tired.”

Once I was transformed they sat me down with about fifty products. And the whole time I kept thinking there’s no way I’m going to spend as much as M & S, just no way… How the hell did she do that??? Here’s me “put that back, I’ll get that later, I won’t use that…blah, blah, blah.” Needless to say… I blew $350 in no time flat. What the hell???
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful…

Karla May- Boy, you two are weak. Weak, I tell you!

Then again, I haven’t had the pleasure of being mesmerized by Ricardo…

Are ya’ll going to get together this weekend and have a make up party where you compare products and try out each other stuff? Because that would be really fun. And then you could talk about how much you both love Aaron Carter, make prank phone calls and watch “Crossroads” in your jammies.

Ya’ll are girls. (Said like that disgruntled teen character on “King of the Hill.”)

M & S- And then we are going to paint our bedrooms pink and get matching outfits.

P.S. Aaron Carter is all mine. Mine. He wants to hug me. He wants to kiss me.

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